SUN-DAY SCHOOL CLASS: THE FOUR-HEADED MONSTER OF EMOTIONAL
BLACKMAIL by e.graham
According to Susan Forward, PhD's book Emotional Blackmail:
When People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt To Manipulate, there
are four faces to emotional blackmail, which are 1) The Punisher, 2. The
Self-Punisher 3. The Sufferer and 4.) The Tantalizer, utilizes demands,
pressure, threats, negative judgments, compliance, and repetition to obtain
their objectives.
A.) The PUNISHER is an individual, who thinks they are
superior and loves to correct others. This is their power trip. In order to get
what they want, they will express anger, rage, and blind fury along with dark
threats that come with severe consequences. Their underline philosophy is
"My way or the highway.." So, they may withhold money and finances
along with sex or use sex as a punishment and a form of control. They may also
emotionally cut you off or abandon (others) hoping it will cause you to suffer,
crumble and fall in the midst of a dispute. Comments like "If you divorce
me, you'll never see your children." are a part of their make-up.
B.) THE SELF-PUNISHER is, usually, associated with high
drama along with attachment and abandonment issues, who often throw temper
tantrums, vowing to do something to ruin their lives, or hurt themselves; as a
means to manipulate, control or terrorize others into submission in order to
obtain love. This may be accomplished by physical injuries, overdrinking,
abusing drugs, quitting jobs, dropping out of school, and, in the worse
case, attempting suicide or threats of
having an abortion in order to make one feel guilty. Statements such as:
"I'll kill myself if you leave me..." is often used by a
self-punisher
C.) THE SUFFERER is often complaining about something,
always depressed, in a teary-eyed position, feeling miserable, sick, unhappy
with life, or preoccupied with how awful thing are....But, when asked,
"What's wrong!" They'll say "Nothing." Why? Because they
want you to read their minds and figure out their problems. But, they love
sharing the excoriating details about their relationship with everyone else
including strangers. On the surface, these individuals look weak, but they are
tyrants and can be terrorists in their own homes by constantly triangulating,
creating the victim-rescuer-caretaker motif
D.) TANTALIZER is the most subtle or clever of the beast.
Plus, the most seductive, highlighted in the (1997) movie The Devil's Advocate
starring Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves. They will utilize love, money, and career
advancement to control and manipulate others as a proverbial carrot, which can
never be obtained like eternal life offered by the serpent in the Garden of
Eden in Genesis 3:1“Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field
which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye
shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” (bobbeethehater.blogspot.com)
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