FROM STRESSED TO BLESSEDBy Lisa Nichols
We can transform whatever we wish to change in our lives, but it begins with transforming our mind-set. When we're stressed, we're not living within our power. We move to the passenger's seat and let our circumstances do the steering. Claiming your power means putting yourself back in the driver's seat and taking full ownership of your ability to navigate.
1. RESET YOUR DEFAULT MODE
Too many of us have in what I like to call "familar discomfort" that space where being stressed feels normal. Some of us have resided there for so long that emotional and physical exhaustion have become our default. We've accepted burnout as our life sentence. How do you trade that reality for a more energized one? You begin by changing your mental ZIP Code. You have to set up your internal GPS by establishing your starting postion, as in admitting "I am overwhelmed." Or "I don't manage my finances well. Acknowledging your unvarnished truth is the first step in letting go of your contract with stress, discontent and chaos.
2. START WITH YOUR "ALREADY DONE" LIST
What did you accomplish in 2011? When were you at your strongest, and what lessons did you take from those experiences? Maybe you earned a promotion or powerfully ended a relationship. Get out a piece of paper and write down what you have achieved and how your life shifted as a result.
3. BLESS THE GIFTS THAT CAME WRAPPED IN SANDPAPER
Last year might have bought you some big challenges -the loss of a job or a relationship, for instance. No. you didn't ask for these difficult experiences, and yet they are indeed gifts. Give thanks not for the hardship, but for the character it built in you. These challenges gave you the opportunity to rise above your circumstances. Knowing you have the resilience is a gift from the universe to you.
4. Move From Reacting To Responding
When you live your life in reaction mode, you say things like, That man made me curse him out." Or you live passively, as if you are a victim of circumstances. Reaction is of the moment and it robs you of forethought and peace of mind. But when you respond, you think, How will what I'm saying or doing affect my future relationships? My self-esteem? This situation? Reponse is an empowered decision that involves forecasting into the future. Take note of how often you live in the space of reaction, and then begin intentionally replacing that habit with the more positive approach.
5. Laser Your Focus.
Some sisters operate like a floodlight: We cover a lot of territory, we multitask, and we're everywhere doing everything for everyone but ourselves. But we're not effectively penetrating any one area, only wearing ourselves out. This year choose to operate more like a laser: Select three things you can do to improve your quality of life. That short list might include setting aside time to spend with family or choosing to exercise three mornings a week, no matter what. Pick a few priorities and stay with them.
6. TURN OPTIONALS INTO NONNEGOTIABLES.
When your really want something-like to eat more healthfully- that's an option. It's on the "it would be nice"list. But if someone asked you to show up for a friend who had cancer; you would do everything in your power to deliver. Your presence would be nonnegotiable. In 2012 show up for yourself the same way you would for a friend. Start taking your own desires as seriously as you do the needs and desires of others.
7. PLAY IN YOUR PASSION
With all the talk of a double-dip recession and all the responsibility of our lives, some of us have stopped doing the things that bring us joy. I love to dance, and I love spending time with my mother, so we signed up for salsa, tango and step classes together. When you do what you love, you're more vital; your mood-boosting endorphins are released and your passsion feeds and fuels you.
8. INVEST IN YOURSELF.
Fiscal responsibility is your destiny and you can live it starting today. Decide that you'll be good steward of whatever money you have, because when you handle money well, you actually attract more money. It's not magic. It's a law of the universe. Energy grows where energy goes. Yes, we're in an economic downturn, but a recession is about paper and coins, and there's no need for us to buy into that scarcity mentality. You have to manage your dollars and cents, but you don't have to live from a mind-set of lack by constantly focusing on what you don't have. Choose to operate from the expectation of abundance. Then watch your finances improve as you invest energy and attention there.
9. FIND A WAY TO GIVE BACK.
If you have love, hope or graciousness in abundance, go someplace where it is needed, like a women's shelter or an elder-care center. What you offer won't cost you anything, but it will be priceless to those who receive it. When you serve others, that service comes back to you in the form of compassion and gratitude.
10. KEEP THE END IN MIND.
Once you make a list of what you will create fro yourself in 2012, write yourself a letter of congratulations, as if you've already accomplished the goals. Date the congratulations letter for December 31, 2012. Looking at your future self not only gives you insight into the sweet life you will have but it also allows you to change the cyclical and toxic patterns.
