Tuesday, November 26, 2013

BOBBEE BEE: ANGER MANAGEMENT


by Family Therapist Michael Gurian

Some boys get angry a great deal during puberty. It’s their body’s and brain’s way of expressing their hormonal surges and disequilibrium. Boys also can become angry because they model constant anger from a caregiver.

Other boys become angry excessively as an expression of trauma they’ve experienced-humilation or abuse. If a boy is getting angry but handling it –going to his room, or going for a run, or hitting a punching bag-and not hurting others with his anger, then he is to be congratulated for his self-control as well as nurtured in calming himself down.
But when does his anger have moral implications?

We must allow his anger to be expressed, and we must honor legitimate anger. But we must not allow him to rely on anger and rage too often, nor to humiliate or hurt others with it in bullying ways.

Here are questions you can ask yourself regarding your son’s anger:
1.How many times a day (or week or month) does your son swear out loud?
(If it is once a week, there is cause to worry?)
2.How many times a week (or month or year) does he break something in anger?
3.How many times a year does he physically fight in anger with another?
If it is six times a year, there is cause to worry?)
4.Would you consider him a “hothead” or “bad tempered”?
If so, is he showing it physically or verbally in inappropriate ways?
5.Have other people you trust called him hotheaded or bad-tempered or implied that he fits these descriptions?

If so, it’s probable that you and your son should take steps.
6.Does he get angry, then often feel ashamed afterwards?
If so, he himself knows he needs help controlling his anger.

7.Does he seem unable to stop himself from lashing out?
If so, get help immediately.
Has he gotten angry enough to hurt another physically?
Again, if so, he needs
help.
8.How often is he disrespectful to you in anger episodes?
If it is often enough to make you even the least frightened, it is definitely too much.(Developed by Dr.Ichiro Kawachi Harvard University.)If your son is swearing, hitting, disrespecting parents and authorities to an extent that you and at least one other caregiver believe is inappropriate, his pubescent years are the right time for you to address this behavior –through anger management programs, reconnection of the boy with a tough father or other caregiver, marital arts, church activities, counseling and school alternatives.

No boy wants to be excessively angry.



Take a Look "In the Mind of Bobee Bee "The Hater" as he confronts and copes with his anger
in the classroom and at home. Learn how Bobbee Bee practices self-control when he is frustrated and humiliated by his classmates. Even "the former Heavy Weight Champion, Mike Tyson could learn something from this book.
Go to www.barnesandnoble.com, www.amazon.com, www.authorhouse.com and purchase "In the Mind of Bobee Bee" and "Larry Long Legs" by Eric and Terrence Graham


This is an excellent book for parents, teachers, counselors, and children dealing with anger issues.

NOW AVAILABLE AS AN EBOOK FOR ONLY FOR ONLY $3.49!!!

Monday, November 18, 2013

BOBBEE BEE: TRAIN YOUR STRESS


by Darren Verbout
BOBBEE BEE: TRAIN YOUR STRESS

You need stress in you life!" That is what the National Institute of Mental Health says, "Without stress, life would be dull and unexciting. Stress adds flavor, challenge and opportunity to life. Too much stress, however, can seriously affect your physical and mental well-being. A major challenge in this stress-filled world of today is to make the stress in your life and work for you instead of against you.
Are you up for the challenge?

Violins and Concrete
Think of yourself as a violin. When there's not enough stress applied to a violin string, it produces a dull, raspy sound. Too much stress makes a shrill, annoying noise, or causes the string to snap. However, just the right amount of stress creates splendid tones.

Not a violinist? Perhaps you're the concrete type. Hoover Dam, on the border of Arizona and Nevada, was finished in 1935. As its builders knew, concrete gets stronger when it is compressed-when stress is added. To exploit this, engineers designed the dam so the weight of the water behind it presses against the dam wall, sealing the joints and making it stronger. Stress can actually strengthen!
According to Gale Encyclopedia of Good Medicine, "Stress is the body's normal response to anything that disturbs its natural physical, emotional or mental balance." The entry goes on to say that stress is a natural phenomenon of living. If it's so normal and natural, then why does it frustrate, confuse, and demoralize?  The answer lies simply in how well (or not so well) we control stress in our lives!

Notice the irony. Today we find ourselves living in a fast-paced, push-button society of conveniences. Leisure-supporting lifestyles cater to comfort and often reject anything over-challenging or demanding. In truth, this kind of environment is fertile ground for out-of-control stress. Using shallow human reasoning, one might carelessly assume that this life of ease could and would produce happiness free of worry and harmful stress. If so, why is 16 percent of the U.S. population on Prozac or some other form of depression medication?
With so much "self" in society today, it's tragic that the most important "self," that of SELF-CONTROL, is rarely found.

The Stress Test
Stress can be simply defined as a non-specific response to events or situations. It's how we react physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to what's going on around us.

There are basically two kinds of stress- POSITIVE STRESS- the constructive kind that pushes us to perform at our very best, and NEGATIVE STRESS, also known as hyperstress- the destructive kind that harms others or us physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

The bottom line: Negative stress occurs when we feel out of control of our own lives. Are you experiencing any of the following symptoms commonly associated with stress?

Physical: Tension, fatigue, stomach problems
Mental: Forgetfulness, poor concentration
Emotional: Anxiety, depression, mood swings, temper outburts, or suicidal thoughts

Spiritual: Emptiness, hopelessness, lack of purpose or faithlessness


That is not to say stress is the only cause for these symptoms, but in many people, it is a major contributor. If you are able to relate to some of the above symptoms, you're not alone.

Far too often, we allow stress to upset our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balance. When this imbalance occurs, our nervous system generates a coordinated set of physical actions in our body such as increased heart rate, rapid breathing and sweating. The response are chemically produced by a substance called adrenaline. Adrenaline shoots out of your adrenal glands on a signal from the brain, and when this happens you experience what is popular known as "flight or fight" response.

The major negative effect of stress occur when an individual does not "fight" of "fly." In this instance, the chemicals produced by adrenaline are not used up, and you stay in high gear longer than you should. This usually culminates in a negative or destructive result.

This trouble can be avoided if you know how to channel your stress properly. Even Hoover Dam knows this. The maximum water pressure at the base of the dam is 45,000 pounds per square foot, according to the U.S.Bureau of Reclamation. Imagine 45,000 pounds pushing against one square foot of your body or mind! Something has to give! Hoover Dam knows "when to say when": It releases between 52,000 and 299,000 gallons of water a day. That water is put to productive use by cities and counties down river.

How we react to and channel stress is the key. At this critical point, one decides which way to channel the stress-in a positive direction or a negative one.

Renegade stress is a big cause for abusive relationships, unstable homes and broken families. To deal with their bouts of stress, many people seek the mind-numbing effects of alcohol, drugs and other faulty "solutions"-but these only further compound these out-of-control problems.
Is there a last solution, a workable, tangible way to proactively handle and channel stress? Let's explore some constructive way to handle and manage stress-way that will make stress work for you rather than against you.

The Most Vital Element


In order to completely overcome the most destructive stress and to gain control of your life spiritually, you must learn how by reading and applying the direction mankind's personal operator's manual: the Holy Bible.
Proverbs 12:25 says. "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad" (New King James Version). How many "good words" do you have in your life, to help you maintain a positive, constructive, optimistic mindset?
As much as possible, surround yourself with those who will positively support you as you work through your challenge. It really helps to great deal to regularly give and receive words of help, encouragement and support.

The true solution lies with one's approach to life. Herbert W.Armstrong described it as two basic ways of life: 1.)the give way 2.) the get way. Which type of person do you think takes control of stress, and which type allows stress to control him?
In Act 20:35, Jesus Christ said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Here's the key! Our human nature tends to think only of self and self's desires. This selfish lifestyle is consumed with self-pity and a  "why is this happening to me? attitude. Harmful, negative, destructive stress could be eradicated from this world if we would follow this basic , timeless principle, spoken nearly 2,000 years ago.: "It is more blessed to give than receive."

One of the world's foremost authorities on stress, endocrinologist Hans Selye, acknowledges this fact by saying, "If everyone loved his neighbor as himself, how could there be any war, crime, aggression or even tension among people?"
Is it difficult to figure out where the root cause of harmful stress originates? It shouldn't be! Our own human nature and its self-serving tendencies is the culprit that leaves us empty, anxious and frustrated.

Don't be a victim of stress! If you want to gain more out of life, then put more into it---and for the matter, put more into others. Learn how to harness the power of stress and channel that energy into a productive way of life. Take control of it and learn how to live a life of giving and service. Do this and you will soon eliminate destructive stress from your life. Then you can, as the Apostle Paul put it, "Be anxious for nothing....and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus" Phillippians 4:6-7)


You have a choice. You can let stress control you and wreck your health , or you can use it successfully meet the challenge you are sure to face. Will you control stress, or will stress control you?

The choice is yours!

Sunday, November 03, 2013

BOBBEE BEE: I AM A BLACK GENIUS

A genius is defined as someone who has an exceptional natural capacity of intellect.  They are people whose lives and work have impacted the physical and cultural milieu of the world. NewsOne has put together a list of geniuses who continue the thread and spirit of Black life and culture. Check them out!

1. Ben Carson:  In fifth grade, Carson was failing and his class mates called him “dummy.”  Since Carson’s mom, Sonja, a third-grade drop-out, didn’t want her two boys to follow in her footsteps, she cracked the whip.

The Mom-on-a-mission limited TV-watching and kept her sons from playing outside until all homework was done.

The Carson boys had to read two books a week then give their mom two book reports on what they had read, even though she could barely make out what they had written.

Within a few weeks, Carson turned his grade average around and realized he was far from stupid.

A year later, he topped his class. Carson began to consume books and placed becoming a doctor on his radar. He soon graduated with honors from high school and set his sights on Yale University, earning a Psychology degree from the Ivy League school.

When he attended the University of Michigan’s medical school, he switched from psychiatry to neurosurgery. Upon graduating, Carson completed his residency at the famed Johns Hopkins, and by 32, he became the director of pediatric neurosurgery. 

In 1987, Carson made medical history with an operation to separate a pair of Siamese twins.

Watch Carson talk about his work here:
Carson has pioneered other successful surgical innovations that have actually cheated death. 

The man with the gifted hands, who lives by the belief that “no one should ever get too big for God,” has received the nation’s highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and is greatly in demand as a speaker.

Carson’s other true passion is the state of education in this country.

Lamenting the lack of quality in this country’s public education system, Carson has dedicated himself to frequently visiting with Black school children in order to motivate them to strive to become all that they can be.

 “I tell them about slavery, when it was illegal for Blacks to learn how to read. I say, Now why do you think that was?

Do you think that was just arbitrary?

No, the reason they didn’t want you to be educated is because education empowers people. So why would you voluntarily do to yourself what was being imposed by an unjust system before?”

2. Brittney Exline: 

When Exline walked across the stage at the University of Pennsylvania graduating cum laude at age 19, she also walked in to the history books. Exline was the school’s youngest engineer and the nation’s youngest African-American engineer. 

In 2007, at age 15, Exline made headlines in her hometown when she graduated from her Colorado Springs high school at 15.  There is no doubt that the young woman, who speaks Spanish, French, Japanese, Russian, Arabic, and German, was born with a genius gene.  Exline was making pyramid designs with blocks at 6 months old, walking at 8 months old, and completing 24- to- 100-piece jigsaw puzzles at 15 months old.

Exline’s stellar academics helped her to secure an internship at a small hedge fund on New York City’s famed Wall Street at 16 and 17.

In addition to all of her great academic and professional feats, Exline has won several pageant titles and is an accomplished dancer.

Volunteerism has also remained a passion for the now-motivational speaker who during her college years worked with Community School Student Partnerships in Philadelphia to train and mentor 30 tutors.

3. Dr. Ronald Mallet

Physics? Mallet grew up poor and was the oldest of four children, and at 10 years old, he hadn’t even heard of physics until he read the H.G. Wells‘ classic “The Time Machine,” after his father died at age 33.

The young Roaring Spring, Penn., native thought that if he built a device, such as the one in the Wells’ book, he could see his father again. This longing to reunite with his dad and travel back in time inspired him to become one of America’s first African-American Ph.D.s in theoretical physics.

Ironically, the young Mallett was not terribly enthusiastic about school, but his singular passion to uncover the mysteries of space and time spurred him on to receive his B.S., M.S., and Ph.D. in physics from Pennsylvania State University.  In 1975, Mallet joined the physics faculty at the University of Connecticut in Storrs, where he has been a professor of theoretical physics ever since.

Dr. Mallet has published numerous papers on black holes and cosmology in professional journals. His breakthrough research on time travel has been featured extensively in the media around the world, including NPR’s “This American Life” and the History Channel, Science Channel, and Learning Channel.

Dr. Ronald Mallett is the personification of brilliance and greatness tempered by a true persevering spirit. He is a man of his own making who has — for the last 50 years — stayed his course, even though he began as a broken-hearted 10-year-old boy whose father was taken away from him much too soon.
Watch Dr. Mallet talk about losing his father and trying to build a real time machine here:

4. Ornette Coleman

Saxophonist extraordinaire Charlie Parker was Coleman’s greatest influence when he picked up the alto sax at age 14 and tenor two years later.

The highly respected revolutionary is credited as being among the creators of free jazz.  The innovative musician/composer has been hailed a musical genius and visionary while his “haters” have been unable to comprehend his radical, abstract, and highly cerebral work.

Coleman began working in R&B bands in Texas, including those of Red Connors and Pee Wee Crayton, but his attempts to play in an original style were consistently met with hostility both by audiences and fellow musicians.


Coleman moved to Los Angeles in the early ’50s, where he worked as an elevator operator while studying music books.

Listen to Coleman’s music here:
Finally in 1958, after many failed attempts to sit in with top L.A. musicians, Coleman found a clique of musicians who could do justice to his unique sound. In 1959, Coleman’s radical jazz sound found a home at the Five Spot in New York City, and each night his music filled the house with curious onlookers who would either label him a “genius” or a “fraud.”

Coleman created music that would greatly influence such noted great improvisers of the 1960s, including John Coltrane and Eric Dolphy.

In 1962, Coleman decided to take a break to teach himself the trumpet and violin, and three years later, he recorded a few mind-boggling sets on all his instruments with a trio featuring bassist David Izenzon and drummer Charles Moffett.

Watch Coleman play here:
Coleman, a jazz giant, would later go on to form more quartets and perform on recordings, and to this day, he has remained true to his still-controversial sound.

5. Tiya Miles:

 A scholar and increasingly authoritative voice in reframing and reinterpreting the history of our diverse nation, Miles is a public historian and the country’s foremost expert on the complex interrelationships between African and Cherokee people living and working in colonial America.

In her first book Ties That Bind: The Story of an Afro-Cherokee Family in Slavery and Freedom,” Miles explores Cherokee history with attention to the interrelated nature of slavery, race, kin, citizenship, and community.

Miles continues her exploration in to early Afro-Indian relations with a public history project and book centered on the Diamond Hill plantation in Georgia, one of the largest Native-owned plantations in colonial history.

Watch Miles talk about the importance of her work here:
In The House on Diamond Hill: A Cherokee Plantation Story,” she documents Chief James Vann‘s control of his plantation and abuse of his Cherokee wives and African slaves.

Miles, who received an B.A. from Harvard University, an M.A. from Emory University, and a Ph.D. from the University of Minnesota, is currently at the University of Michigan, where she serves as a professor in the Department of History and professor and chair of the Department of Afro-American and African Studies. She holds additional appointments in the Program in American Culture, the Native American Studies Program, and the Department of Women’s Studies.

Miles’ work collecting and analyzing information from the U.S. Census, oral histories, and newspapers has been recognized by the MacArthur Foundation, which awarded her with a MacArthur Genius grant last year.  Regarding Miles’ life work, she says, “I think that history matters so much to who we are as individuals, as communities, as a nation, as a global community. I feel that it’s just so important to bring the meaningful stories of the past into the present, into today, and to allow people to engage with them and to connect them back to their own lives.”

6. Elise Tan:

At age 2, Tan who had an IQ of 156, was a card-carrying member of Mensa, the international organization for people with very high scores in IQ tests. Tan was only 5 months old when she looked her dad, Edward (pictured), in the face and called him “Dada.” She was walking by 8 months, running at 10 months, and a year old when she could recognize her written name. At 16 months old, she could count to 10, and by age 2, she knew the capitals of the world and could speak Spanish. 

Before she began to verbally communicate, her parents noticed that she would stare at people and things as if she were taking everything in and then sorting things out.  At a play group, her mom, Louise (pictured), once gave Tan a “rhinoceros” and the little tot corrected her mom by informing her that the toy was actually a triceratops. 

When Tan was evaluated by a specialist education psychologist, he concluded that the child was indeed “gifted.”  Tan’s parents, Edward, a motor consultant and car buyer, and mom Louise, a homemaker, admit that neither side has geniuses in their lineage. The London couple just want their 5-year-old little girl to be happy for now, and as far as what the future holds, perhaps a revision to Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity?


Watch Tan’s story here:

Friday, November 01, 2013

BOBBEE BEE: THE NEW FACE OF DOOM

In the "ground-breaking" independent film by the Graham Brothers, which was written and directed by Eric Graham, the main character Bobbee Bee "The Hater" played by William Isiah Shakur "steps out of his many morning dreams" and walks into a deadly reality, where he gets chased by his innermost demons.

And, shockingly, overtime, what seems illogical is quite logical.

As a result, in a seemingly, meaningless movie, ends up in the end, being quite meaningful.

Why? Because, as Bobbee Bee refuses to "FACE REALITY" he discovers himself in all the humor and horror of his own haunting.

And, as difficult as that maybe to understand, so is this movie.

Besides, as the character "Smokin' Joe Black says, "Hate is the new Love. Because, people love to hate, and hate to love."

Therefore, get your ticket for the best independent film of the year. And prepare yourself for the new face of doom-creeping in your bedroom.