FAMILY FEUDS: SEPARATING YOURSELF FROM TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS
by e.graham
With feelings of isolation, insecurity, loneliness,
rejection and racism tugging psychologically at the mind of Meghan Markle,
Duchess of Sussex, who, possibly, could be suffering from abandonment issues
and a case of depression-like her husband Harry, due to the lack of physical
and emotional involvement of their fathers growing up as children, made a
conscious decision to distance themselves from their “alleged” TOXIC FAMILY
MEMBERS in Buckingham Palace in London and move or MEGIXT to Los Angeles, California.
While both of them coping with their parents going through
messy divorces, Markle, who separated herself from her father, Thomas Wayne
Markle Sr., who betrayed her by talking with, the seemingly TOXIC tabloids, during her wedding along with her
half-sister, Samantha Markle, who claims she suffers from " narcissistic
personality disorder in her tell-all-book, actually admitted to Oprah, during
the interview that she contemplated suicide due to all the brouhaha brewing
around the birth of her child along with his potential blackness and her royal
seclusion.
The red-head former Prince, Duke of Sussex, like his wife
also SEPARATED from his “so-called royal
family”, which includes his brother, William, while still trying to cope with
the trauma of his mother’s mysterious and untimely death, which seems to be
still haunting him to this day.
With all of this royal rumbling, some of us, even though, we hate to admit it, also have some TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS causing HAVOC in our own simple lives, just like the ones plaguing these young newlyweds, who are trying to maneuver through life with COVID-19 spreading rampantly throughout the globe.
So, despite, their social and economic status, we also have
had to distance ourselves from OUR perceived TOXIC FAMILY- by putting up MENTAL
borders and roadblocks along with psychological fences for our defense in order
to create separation from our siblings and in-laws to keep our sanity and
prevent fights and conflicts from being a reoccurring event.
Why? Because, all of that chaos can be physically,
psychologically and emotionally draining to the psyche of an individual, who
simply desires peace. Which is totally unhealthy? Unfortunately, these wedges
within the family structure, usually, are a result of jealousy, envy, unwanted
competition, insecurity, and hatred. All of this, OF course, makes being in
those family inner circles uncomfortable and unsafe. Especially, if one has
lost trust in those individuals, which leads a person to remove him or herself
totally from immediate family members, cousins, and parents. Which, in some cases, causes a person never to re-turn home again.
Not even, for graduations, Christmas dinners, weddings, birthdays, or family
reunions.
Matter of fact, the only event, which can bring the family back
together, is death. For, during DEATH, we, sometimes, bury the pain and burdens
with the body, while showing a little compassion, learning to forgive and
forget. But, after the funeral is over, and the casket is covered with dirt,
the drama continues.
WITH THAT SAID, what are some PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
from “SOCIALLY DISTANCING” yourself from TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS? They are broken
down into 5 sections: (Source:THill)
1. THE CHAMELEON EFFECT, which refers to the nonconscious
mimicking of one’s postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, mirroring their
motion, which usually comes along with a fake smile, hateful hugs, phony phone
calls, inspiring text messages, a Facebook friend request and unwelcomed
invitations to parties, un-giving Christmas gifts, and monetary hand-outs in
order to purchase your affection for a short period of time.
All of this is done to gain access to your friendship again.
Only, for them to repeat the same old TOXIC behavior as before. Because,
despite, you being totally fed up with the person’s shenanigans. This narcissistic, drama queen, will become
so BRAND NEW, you might not even recognize them. Because, they might greet you
with a “Hey Girl, How You Been Doing?” Even though, she was the cause of the
conflict in the beginning. Despite that, she may even suggest, “I know, you, probably don’t want to have
anything to do with me. But, I am going to forgive you anyway. For, acting the
way you do. Hell, I’m trying to be nice to you.
3. DIFFUSION OF RESPONSIBILITY, which occurs when people who
need to make a decision wait for someone else to act instead. The more people
involved, the more likely it is that each person will do nothing, believing
someone else from the group will probably respond. This happens when a family
member, who has accepted the role as the Hero, in order to solve all disputes,
usually, the Grandmother or Auntie, steps in and apologizes for the person or
persons, who harmed you, while he or they sit back and pretends he never did
anything wrong, guilt-free, which is KNOWN as the stand by effect.
This person, in street terms, is “chatty-patty,”(aka Tasha
K.) who is always telling other people’s business. Trying to get all the bad
news, hidden secrets, who got locked up, who got cheated on.etc.etc. They want
to know “Who said, what? “What had happened was?” In order, to get the DRAMA
GOIN’ and the FAMILY IN TURMOIL. (Get your wine glasses and spilling the tea.
5. DOUBTS, SHAME, & REGRETS-, which is a roller coaster
of emotions that can occur because of your decision to DISTANCE YOUR SELF FROM
those TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS, even though, one still may feel left out, ignored,
and even a little embarrassed that the toxicity fractured the foundation of
love, friendship, and order in your home. (bobbeethehater.blogspot.com)
