SOMETIMES, DEATH brings out the WORST in families. If this has been your experience, please know that you are not alone. Not even close! So many people can relate to family fighting after a death. What’s the number one source of conflict? You guessed it, fighting over material possessions, estates and belongings.
COMMON CONFLICTS INCLUDE:
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1. When to begin sorting through belongings. Some people are ready right away, some people want more time before sorting through items.
2. Who gets what. Especially when there is not a will, but even when there is a will, there are often many household items or sentimental objects that are not accounted for.
3. What to keep and what to give away. Attachment to objects can vary greatly from person to person. While one person may want to save every Tupperware container and tube of chapstick that mom ever owned, other family members may be quick to toss those items in the trash.
4. Whether to keep or sell a house. Houses can have tremendous sentimental value, making them something many family members don’t want to part with. Houses can also hold tremendous value, making them something many family members may want to sell right away.
5. Money money money. Whether it is scraping together money to pay for a funeral, or dividing up bank accounts and investments without a will for clear guidance, money can quickly become a sore spot.
OTHER CONFLICTS INCLUDE
*Disagreements about treatment at the end of life. Conflict can begin even before a loved one dies when families disagree about goals of care, withdrawing support at the hospital, and caregiving responsibilities.
*Arrangements. Questions like whether someone will be buried or cremated, where will the service be held, where will they be buried, etc. can bring surprising strife between family members.
**Relocating. After a death, it is not uncommon that people may move, either by choice or out of necessity. This can split a family geographically and be devastating for those who feel left behind.
*Custody. When death results in children who must be cared for, conflict can arise around who will get custody of the children if this was not predetermined.
***Different grieving styles. We all grieve in different ways and on different timelines. When people are grieving differently this can be a major source of conflict within families. This is especially common if one family member thinks another is not as impacted by the death or they are ‘moving on’ too quickly. (CHECKOUT DEALING WITH DEATH POST) (Source:What'sYourGrief) (bobbeethehater.blogspot.com)
2. Who gets what. Especially when there is not a will, but even when there is a will, there are often many household items or sentimental objects that are not accounted for.
3. What to keep and what to give away. Attachment to objects can vary greatly from person to person. While one person may want to save every Tupperware container and tube of chapstick that mom ever owned, other family members may be quick to toss those items in the trash.
4. Whether to keep or sell a house. Houses can have tremendous sentimental value, making them something many family members don’t want to part with. Houses can also hold tremendous value, making them something many family members may want to sell right away.
5. Money money money. Whether it is scraping together money to pay for a funeral, or dividing up bank accounts and investments without a will for clear guidance, money can quickly become a sore spot.
OTHER CONFLICTS INCLUDE
*Disagreements about treatment at the end of life. Conflict can begin even before a loved one dies when families disagree about goals of care, withdrawing support at the hospital, and caregiving responsibilities.
*Arrangements. Questions like whether someone will be buried or cremated, where will the service be held, where will they be buried, etc. can bring surprising strife between family members.
**Relocating. After a death, it is not uncommon that people may move, either by choice or out of necessity. This can split a family geographically and be devastating for those who feel left behind.
*Custody. When death results in children who must be cared for, conflict can arise around who will get custody of the children if this was not predetermined.
***Different grieving styles. We all grieve in different ways and on different timelines. When people are grieving differently this can be a major source of conflict within families. This is especially common if one family member thinks another is not as impacted by the death or they are ‘moving on’ too quickly. (CHECKOUT DEALING WITH DEATH POST) (Source:What'sYourGrief) (bobbeethehater.blogspot.com)
