"Blessed are those who mourn,for they will be comforted"Mat:5:4DEALING WITH DEATH by Eric D. Graham
Death comes early in the morning. So, heed the warning. But, how do we deal with Death when it comes? Some of us ease the pain of death by participating in funeral rituals, prayer, songs, sermons, poems, floral arrangements, and burial ceremonies. While others, try to cope with the pain, by self-medicating, by drinking, smoking, and overeating. Despite these acts, psychologically, there are 5 stages of dealing with grief, which most of us go through, which we may not be aware of .
Those five stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
1. The initial stage of grief recognizes normal reactions that include: shock, denial, unreality, emotional outpouring, psychological and physical symptoms (e.g. inability to think straight, feeling panicky, bodily aches, and pains, which the person may say, "I can't believe Momma is dead. This can't BE REAL"...Along with the SHOCK and DENIAL comes DEPRESSION, which a person is likely to be fearful about what life has instore for them after the funeral and may be constantly defeated by irrational thoughts and belief such as "my life is over.."
2. The second stage involves SURVIVOR''S GUILT-which a person may think "I could have done so much more...If I had just done this instead (A lot of Military Soldiers experience this after losing a comrade on the battlefield ". NEXT, is Anger, which is such a powerful emotion that some people if they don't release it, can be consume by it.. forever. So, they become ANGRY with GOD, the person, who DIED, as well as their family and friends. I have seen it on the faces of Grandmothers, mothers, aunties, cousins, sons, and daughters, who struggle with the lost of a love one, who say: "GOD, how could you do this to me?" Along with ANGER, comes RESENTMENT towards the deceased, which comes in the form of comments like:"Momma, how could you leave me? I need you...."
This is also considered part of the BARGAINING factor, which happens often at African-American funerals, where a family member, after viewing the body, for the last time- may say;" Take me God...But, please don't take my momma.... Usually, this comes with a form of Idealism, which the deceased family member, becomes the "perfect person" in the eye's of the one dealing with his death.
Regardless of, what the person did in his or her life. After his or her death, he did no wrong.
3. And. the Final Stage of Grief is ACCEPTANCE, when the person comes to realistic terms with life and death of their loved one, while understanding that they are no longer physically present and appreciating both the positive and negative aspects of their lives. Therefore, they must make some readjustment and emotional investment in their lives, while developing a stronger inner sense of self, yet acknowledge, appreciate, and cherish the contributions the deceased person made in their lives ...."I did what I could...Now, I have to let go of some of this Denial, Anger, Sadness, Resentment, and Guilt...And, get back to Normal.. get on with my life, learn how to smile again, laugh again and love again." (Source:Counseling)by Eric D. Graham (bobbeethehater.blogspot.com)
