by Creflo Dollar
In the midst of counseling sessions, I have discovered that many married couples have never received instruction in conflict resolution strategies, they resort to settling their differences by fighting.
Here are four fighting styles to avoid with dealing with conflicts or problems. Many couples begin their marriages eager to live the fairy tale they've read about, watched on the big screen, or listened to while dancing to their favorite love songs.
Movies, books, and songs can paint a picture of martial bliss that has very little to do with REALITY. In REALITY, when a couple says "I do" and attempts to live out their fairy tale of a happily-ever-after marriage,it isn't long before REALITY sets in, and they realize life is not a fairy tale.
It takes a tremendous amount of work and effort, by both parties, to achieve martial bliss.
FOUR IMPROPER FIGHTING STYLES
The Eskimo Style
In this case, one or both spouses freeze up after an argument and ignore the situation altogether, hoping time will take care of it.
They withdraw emotionally and nurse their wounds.
This is more commonly known as the silent treatment.
As a result, one or both parties become bitter because a mutual resolution is not reached.
As a result, one or both parties become bitter because a mutual resolution is not reached.
The Cowboy Style
The Houdini Style
When conflict arise, one or both parties become escape artists.
He or she does not like conflict and will avoid it as much as possible.
Rather than face an issue head-on, this individual will just leave.
Often this spouse will turn to destructive behaviors such as drinking, excessive shopping, sitting in front of the television for hours, or overeating. He or she will do whatever it takes to avoid dealing with the situation.
The World Boxing Association Style
Here we have one or both parties handling conflicts with their fists.
He or she may begin to deal with an issue rationally, but anger often takes over, and the individual becomes physicallly abusive.
This spouse may be an abuser who is in need of counseling.
No matter what situation you may face as a couple, realize that fighting is not the best way to resolve conflict.
Pray about it and seek God's wisdom in every circumstance.
From Winning in Troubled Times: God's Solutions For Victory Over Life's Toughest Challenges by Celo Dollar.
This is the "shoot 'em up an' leave 'em for dead!" style.
In the heat of passion, couples tend to say things they do not mean, words can hurt, causing a lot of damage to a marriage and severely limiting any chances of reconciling differences.
The Houdini Style
He or she does not like conflict and will avoid it as much as possible.
Rather than face an issue head-on, this individual will just leave.
Often this spouse will turn to destructive behaviors such as drinking, excessive shopping, sitting in front of the television for hours, or overeating. He or she will do whatever it takes to avoid dealing with the situation.
The World Boxing Association Style
Here we have one or both parties handling conflicts with their fists.
He or she may begin to deal with an issue rationally, but anger often takes over, and the individual becomes physicallly abusive.
This spouse may be an abuser who is in need of counseling.
No matter what situation you may face as a couple, realize that fighting is not the best way to resolve conflict.
Pray about it and seek God's wisdom in every circumstance.
