"BORN TO BE LOVED; LOVE TO BE HATED!"
His Anger Teaches Everybody Reality!!
It's your boy BOBBEE BEE "THE HATER" aka the trouble maker from the "city of brotherly love" I am an obnoxious, opinionated, third grader whose ego is bigger than T.O.! I am an "odd"combination of Terrell Owens, KOBE Bryant, Rasheed Wallace, and Allen Iverson!
by Eric D. Graham #TheRapProfessor. If you like what you are learning ($JeffreyBarnes)
GREENSBORO — Eighty-nine times. That's what he remembers.
Brandon Richardson-Evans had moved 89 times between the ages of 9 and 16. He counted. He bounced from foster homes to group homes to homeless shelters and two detention centers where he stayed after his anger went volcanic.
His life has been full of chaos.
At 4, he heard his dad stab his mom. Brandon saw the blood.
At 9, he watched his mom die in a hospital bed from breast cancer.
At 16, he left Maryland and came to live with his dad in Greensboro.
His dad asked him to come. He wanted to get Brandon out of trouble, and he told Brandon he had an apartment, a car. But his dad was living in the local shelter.
After that, his dad abandoned him.
Twice.
His dad says he left to find work.
Still, he left Brandon on his own.
And now, at 21, Brandon has a tattoo on his right arm.
It's an image of one of the last things he saw in his mom's hospital room — her pulse.
A few days ago, he had that stark, spiky outline of life and death shaved into the back of his head.
He had made a promise to her on her deathbed, and he aimed to keep it.
He was going to graduate. And with his tattoo and the spiky line above his neck, she was going with him.
With his cap and gown under his arm, Brandon slips into Duane Lewis' Honda Accord. "My dad is coming," Brandon tells Lewis breathlessly.
"How do you feel?" Lewis asks.
"Good."
"Now, listen, you get up there and step to the mic and focus," Lewis tells him. "Read slowly. The words will come out. That feeling, it comes from the heart."
Lewis is 44, a school social worker from Goldsboro and educated at N.C. A&T.
He has worked in Guilford County Schools for 17 years. So, he has seen many kids like Brandon — broken, lost, angry and alone.
He is one of many who have helped Brandon. For the past year, he has guided Brandon through his days at Twilight School, a place of second chances for students wrestling with bad grades, poor attendance and the responsibilities of being a parent or being on their own.
Brandon lives at Joseph's House. It is a two-story home in east Greensboro that has become a faith-based nonprofit that helps homeless young men from age 18 to their early 20s.
In 2008, Brandon came to Greensboro to live with his dad. When his dad left, Brandon first stayed at the city's homeless shelter and later with a friend's family as he bounced from Dudley High to Grimsley High.
In November, he moved into Joseph's House. And there he has stayed — up 16 steps, in a small bedroom where he keeps his four pairs of shoes, his half-dozen shirts, his Old Spice and his stack of books a foot high.
He has spent many hours talking to Lenora Cooke, the nonprofit's program director. He tells her about his life — of his mom's stabbing, his mom’s death, his bouncing around 89 times before landing in Greensboro and finding himself alone.
Brandon has a name for it: "The Struggle."
"Miss Cooke," he tells her. "You don't know. When you're in The Struggle, it's hard to look up."
But the closer to graduation, the more excited Brandon gets.
"Miss Cooke, you know what I'm going to tell my family," he has told her. "I'm going to tell them, 'Look at me. I did it.' "
It is Thursday.
And it is time.
Brandon arrives at Northern High with Lewis and steps into Room 179, where Twilight graduates gather down the hall from the auditorium where they all will take the big walk.
Brandon will finally graduate. It took him seven years. And his father will see it. That's what makes Brandon nervous. His conversations with his father often turn into shouting matches.
Once again, Brandon will ask his dad about stabbing his mom, and he wonders if he'll get a different answer than, "I was mad."
He knows he won't forget that. It was his mom, and his dad went to prison for what he did.
But he has forgiven his dad.
Lewis has helped him with that as well as his anger. Brandon knows if he doesn't forgive, he won't be able to move on and start a new life.
He still remembers what his 45-year-old mother, Willie Mae Richardson, told him as she lay in her hospital bed during her final days.
"You know, I'm not going to be here," she said. "Promise me one thing. You're going to graduate."
"I promise," Brandon responded. "I don't care how long it takes or how hard it gets."
So, as he walks into Northern High's auditorium Thursday, he thinks about that, his speech and his dad. Mainly, though, he wishes his mom was in a seat. He sits up front, behind a row of school officials. His face is stoic.
For four days, Brandon has rehearsed his speech in his bedroom. He wants it to be right. He remembers what Lewis told him. Speak slowly. When it's time, he steps to the microphone and begins.
He talks about his dad leaving him twice, and he mentions the names of the many people who have helped them. He talks in a monotone, hardly looking up as he reads from his three-page script. But by the time he gets to the end, he looks out over the crowd and smiles.
Big.
"I told my mom the day that she passed away that I was going to get my high school diploma no matter how long it took and how hard it was," he says. "I would never give up."
After his speech, Brandon finds his dad.
George Evans is 60, slender with a bald head, sharp in a suit. He drove from Wilmington for the graduation, and Brandon finds him standing in a corner outside the auditorium. Brandon approaches. He smiles. They shake hands. They talk.
Brandon asks about the stabbing. His dad pretends he doesn't hear him and changes the subject. Brandon doesn't bother to follow up. But you see it in his face. His smile vanishes.
Brandon thanks him for coming. Lewis does, too. He called Evans to come.
"Thank you for what you did," Evans tells Lewis, shaking his hand. "I know."
Then, Evans is gone. He tells Brandon it could be years before he sees him again. No matter. Brandon knows he never could depend on him. He simply knows what his next steps will be.
Walk with Grimsley High, his home high school, Sunday night during its graduation. Start at GTCC this fall. Look to transfer to N.C. A&T and major in mechanical engineering. And try to play football.
At 6 feet, 189 pounds, built solid, strong and fast, he believes he can do it.
But right now, it's Thursday night, and it's back in Lewis' Honda Accord, back toward another night at Joseph's House.
But it's time to celebrate. He kept his promise — to his mom and to himself.
"I'm going to take a picture of this (diploma) before the light goes out," says Brandon, sitting in Lewis' car and speaking faster and louder with every word.
"I'm going to show everyone I got a diploma! I'm going to show the world! Facebook! Everyone is going to see it! And I'm going to say, 'Remember when you said I couldn't do it?! ' "
"You don't have to say, 'Remember when,' " Lewis responds. "You just send it out. They'll get it."
Contact Jeri Rowe at 373-7374 or jeri.rowe @news-record.com.
(Picture to the left Editor and Chief of Black Athlete Sports Network Eric D.Graham and school counselor Duane Lewis)
Coaches are suppose to breed winners, demand respect, and preach honor and integrity.
If this is true, I was a natural.
Along with these skills, according to Bill Cole, the founder and CEO of William B.Cole Consultants, there are 15 other attributes all top-notch coaches must possess.
They are:
1.) Exquisite self awareness, 2.) High emotional intelligence, 3.) Broad vision with focus on important details, 4.) Nuanced, crisp, superb communication. 5.) Highest regard, caring and respect for players. 6.) Creative, innovative learner and developer of custom coaching methodologies. 7.) Perceptive, intuitive, curious and inquiring. 8.) Quick study with capacity for deep and wide learning. 9.) Student of coaching and other disciplines that support helping others. 10.) Sincere interest in players and desire to help. 11. Continuous learner of themselves and their experiences. 12. See coaching as a two way interchange of energies and learnings. 13. Humble, open, nurturing and grateful to the world. 14. View coaching as a calling, an art and a discipline. 15. Walking the talk and modeling a good life for their players.
After studying this list, I found out that I was qualified for the job. As a result, this year marked the first time, I became an official coach.
And, I wore the title with pride.
Plus, in my mind, I felt after a couple of practices that I would be undefeated at the end of my rookie campaign as a Little League coach.
Besides, I knew I could motivate my players to perform at their highest level.
Plus, I was determined that I would allow them to be individuals while playing a team sport as well as having fun whether in victory or in defeat.
The Transformation
But, after a couple of games, I realized that being a Little League coach for a bunch of 7 to 10 year olds, with short attention spans, would be more challenging than I expected.
Because, despite, doing "everything right," we still lost a few games, which we should have won, in my personal opinion.
And, within the first week, I felt a wide range of emotions.
They included disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, joy, confusion, amazement and pride.
I felt like Baltimore Orioles Earl Weaver, throwing a temper tantrum, the NY Yankees' Billy Martin, kicking dirt on home plate, Dusty Baker, chilling in the dugout with a tooth pick in my mouth, and Sparky Anderson confidently smiling as if I was coaching the "Big Red Machine" in Cincinnati in 1975 to 1976.
But, honestly, I loved it!!!
Oh, yeah!!! I loved every bit of it.
I loved the opportunity to shape and mold, encourage and teach, as well as discipline these children, who were trying to play the game we all have grown to love. Yeah, I loved trying to transform boys to men. But, in the end, I was being transformed myself.
Great Coaches
And, I must admit, after winning 5 of 11 games, which we of course should have won all 11, I developed a new found respect for great coaches like:
John Mclendon, who was an early pioneer of game preparation, conditioning, the fast break, the full-court press, and a two corner offense that became the seed for Dean Smith’s famous four corners, and the winner of eight CIAA titles at North Carolina College between 1941 and 1952.
Lenny Wilkens, who is the second all-time winning-est coach in the NBA with 1,332 victories, Grambling's Eddie Robinson, who is the winningest coach in NCAA football history with 406 career wins, WSSU's Coach Clarence "BigHouse" Gaines, who won 828 games, eight CIAA titles, and led WSSU to a Division II NCAA championship in 1967,
Georgetown's John Thompson, who became the first African-American to win a major collegiate championship, Pittsburgh Steelers' Mike Tomlin, who on Feb. 1, 2009, became the youngest NFL head coach to lead a team to a Super Bowl victory, Boston's Doc Rivers, Phil Jackson, who won 11 championships, which surpassed the previous record of nine held by the Boston Celtics Red Auerbach, Duke's Mike K, who is the winner of four NCAA championships, 11 Final Fours, 12 ACC regular season titles, and 13 ACC Tournament championships,
UCLA's John Wooden, "the Wizard of the Woodwork, who won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period-seven in a row, Tennesee's Pat Summitt, who won 8 NCAA national championships, Indianapolis's Tony Dungy, who became the first African-American to win a Super Bowl, WSSU's Pete Richardson, who won three CIAA conference championships, four SWAC titles, as well as four Black College Football national championships, Vivian Stringer, who won 900 games, Miami's Don Shula, who won two Super Bowls, and holds the NFL record with 347 wins as well as the only perfect NFL season, and even, the "General" Indiana's Bob Knight, who won 902 NCAA Division I men's college basketball games.
Why? Because after every lost, and, before every win, I would find myself pacing in my living room, trying to find new ways to motivate my players, watching YouTube clips of different coaching techniques, while jugging different line-ups in my head.
I would visualize for hours what I could do to improve my team's hitting, fielding, catching and overall confidence, which would lead them to more wins.
And just like a little kid, on the day of the game, I would put on my uniform two hours early, staring in the mirror and start hyping myself up by rapidly clapping my hands and yelling, "Let's go!!"
Seriously, I love doing this.....
And after the end of the season, I saw my team improve drastically.
Truly, in my eyes, they had become better people, better players, and they loved being coached by me.
And I was truly honored to be a part of their lives if only for a brief moment in time.
Plus, I helped produce six players on this year's All-Star team, which I was selected to help coach.
But, despite all of that, I felt my coaching debut was a success when several parents said, "I love the way you coach...."
Wow!! (pictured from left to right starting at top: Coach Eric Graham, Coach Chris Lesane, and Coach Mike Lesane, second row: Ahmad Lesane, Tylique Hall, bottom row Tyler Dixon, Case Barber, and Xzavier Pearsall. Not pictured Allen Lopez.)
Somebody had seen my brilliance, felt my passion, enjoyed my enthusiasm and applauded my efforts.
And for that reason, I can't wait to next year....
"Let's go babbbbbby!!!!!!
If you have any questions about Bobbee Bee, please contact me at lbiass34@yahoo.com
The 1st Annual Larry Long Legs Basketball Tournament was held on July 15th, 2006 at James KenanHigh School in Warsaw, NorthCarolina.
The basketball tournament was designed to teachleadership skills, good sportsmanship, teamwork, goal setting, angry management, and a winning attitude.
The competition was fierce!!!
There, however, were "NO SLAM DUNKS,"but there were plenty of "airballs," several "bone-crushing" fouls, a few "lucky" three-pointers, and many amazing moves as our "future" NBA STARS battled for the convenant MVP and championship trophies.
The Larry Long Legs BasketballTournament was also the unofficial book-signing of the "NEW"children's book written by Eric Graham which is simply called "Larry Long Legs!"
This is the second book published in the series of "In the Mind of Bobbee Bee"which is a literacy program designed to improve the attitudes and behavior of our children in the public school system and at home.
The Larry Long Legs Basketball Tournament was hosted by Terrence Graham but there were several other "outstanding" brothers who provided their time and assistance: Lamont Dixon, George Griffin, Dr.Dennis Royal, Truman Raines, Kevin Bouyer, and Jermaine Jones. "This basketball tournament is about more than basketball. It's about Education, Brotherhood, and Reconnecting the Community. Too many of our children have"HOOP DREAMS!"
(pictured left to right Eric D.Graham, Lamont Dixon, Terrence Graham, George Griffin, Dr. Dennis Royal, Truman Raines, and Kevin Bouyer.
"They spend 8hours or more pursuing basketball and not on pursuing academic success in the classroom. But we are trying to get these young ballers to realize that academics always come before athletics!" stated Author/Cartoonist Eric Graham. "We are trying our best to break the vicious stereotype of the "dumb" athlete or the "dumb" jock that can't read or write."
On August 5-8, 2004 at Morehouse College, in Atlanta, Georgia, Eric D.Graham along with Brother Jeff X.Barnes, the co-founder of Seminole Entertainment, attended the Wholistic Wellness and Healing Conference, where they presented their award-winning presentation FAST FOOD NATION: BATTLE OF THE BULGE, which is a presentation that confronts the growing trend of obesity in America, with a particular emphasis on the African-American community.
The presentation explored the negative consequences of a diet in fat and processed foods, with particular emphasis placed on the growth of this industry and the marketing tools which are used to make high calorie, low nutorious food appealing.
The presentation also brilliantly placed in a historical context, which showed how African-Americans, since slavery, have received low quality foods and have continued this same destructive pattern presently today.
The Wholistic Stress Control Institute, Inc., which was founded by Jennie C.Trotter, who is an advocate, licensed counselor, educator, is a non-profit community based organization whose mission is to teach wholistic stress management by promoting wellness and healthy lifestyle choices.
In addition to training, WSCI operates over 15 community programs (See childwww.wholistic1.com) and has collaborated with Morehouse College, Department of Psychology, to host the first "Wholistic Wellness and Healing Conference:Conventional and Complementary Approaches for Optimum Health for African Americans."
The conference goal is to share both conventional and complementary healing prevention and intervention therapies and approaches that have demonstrated successful models for addressing the seven leading preventable cause of death for African-Americans.
According to the CDC, the leading causes are: 1) heart disease, 2) cancer, 3) strokes, 4) accidents, 5) diabetes, 6) homicide and 7.) HIV/AIDS
(picture above left to right Jennie C.Trotter, M.Ed, Excutive Director & Founder of WSCI and Mjideka N.Olatunde, Healing Pain with Reflexology
The Keynote Speakers of this outstanding events were lecturer and entertainer Bertice Berry, Ph.D, nationally renounced herbalist & holistic health specialist Queen Afua, Board Certified family physician Dr.James Carter, Audri Scott Williams, President & CEO of Spirit of Truth Foundation, ADAMA A.MAWEJA, performer & Radio Host and psychologist, substance abuse professional and President of Braddock & Associates, Dr.Henry Braddock.
(picture above left to right BERTICE PERRY, Ph.D and Eric Graham)
Along with these dynamic speakers, were several informative and educational workshops, which Graham & Barnes eagerly attended:
Obesity: Crippling the Cornerstones for African-American Health-Naima Lewis, Ph.D, Consultant
Treatment of Addiction Recovery & Stress Using Traditional Chinese Medicine -Malcolm Johnson, Ph.D, Oriental Medicine Doctor, Kundalini Yoga-Awtar Singh Khalsa, Teacher, Lecturer, Stress Management Specialist Men's Health & Prostate Disease-Folusho Ogunfeditini, PA, Physician Assistant, Urology, Midtown Urology Surgicial Center Healing the Wounded Woman: Anicent Medicine for Female Body & Soul-Sandra Yee, DCM, Writer, Lecturer, Self-Health Coach, Hang-on Healing Arts, LLC.
Is there a role for Stress Reduction in Reducing Hypertension in African-Americans-Kofi Kondwani, Ph.D; Adjunct Assistance Clinical Professor at Morehouse School of Medicine
Strategies for Better Male Heatlh-Eric Benning, MD
Healthy cooking demo & the "Transition Diet"-Ms.Yafah Asiel, nutritionist, dietary consultantAcupuncture: Hypertension in African-Americans-Teh-Ching Chu, Ph.DYiquan: The True Essence of Healing-Greg Bailey, BS
Homeopathy for Detox & Health-Marjorie Roberts
African Medicine: Emerging from the Shadows-Charles Finch, M.D.
Stress Reduction: Hypertensions, Meditation & Black Teens-Vernon Barnes, Ph.D
Sacred Body Temple, Energy & Health-Lycurgus Muldrow, Ph.D
AIDS: The Untold Story-Henry Braddock, Ph.D
Chi in the Hood: Teaching Ancient Healing Techniques to at risk Youth Health Status of African-American Aging Population
Wholistic Stress Control Institute, Inc. 2545 Benjamin E. Mays Drive SW, Atlanta, GA 30311
