BOBBEE BEE: LOVE MORE; FIGHT LESS

by Creflo Dollar

Many couples begin their marriages eager to live the fairy tale they've read about, watched on the big screen, or listened to while dancing to their favorite love songs. Movies, books, and songs can paint a picture of martial bliss that has very little to do with REALITY.

In REALITY, when a couple says "I do" and attempts to live out their fairy tale of a happily-ever-after marriage,it isn't long before REALITY sets in, and they realize life is not a fairy tale. It takes a tremendous amount of work and effort, by both parties, to achieve martial bliss.

In the midst of counseling sessions, I have discovered that many married couples have never received instruction in conflict resolution strategies, they resort to settling their differences by fighting. Here are four fighting styles to avoid with dealing with conflicts or problems.

FOUR IMPROPER FIGHTING STYLES
The Eskimo Style

In this case, one or both spouses freeze up after an argument and ignore the situation altogether, hoping time will take care of it.

They withdraw emotionally and nurse their wounds.

This is more commonly known as the silent treatment.

As a result, one or both parties become bitter because a mutual resolution is not reached.

The Cowboy Style

 

This is the "shoot 'em up an' leave 'em for dead!" style. In the heat of passion, couples tend to say things they do not mean, words can hurt, causing a lot of damage to a marriage and severely limiting any chances of reconciling differences.

The Houdini Style

When conflict arise, one or both parties become escape artists. He or she does not like conflict and will avoid it as much as possible. Rather than face an issue head-on, this individual will just leave. Often this spouse will turn to destructive behaviors such as drinking, excessive shopping, sitting in front of the television for hours, or overeating. He or she will do whatever it takes to avoid dealing with the situation.

The World Boxing Association Style


Here we have one or both parties handling conflicts with their fists. He or she may begin to deal with an issue rationally, but anger often takes over, and the individual becomes physicallly abusive.  This spouse may be an abuser who is in need of counseling.

No matter what situation you may face as a couple, realize that fighting is not the best wayy to resolve conflict.
 Pray about it and seek God's wisdom in every circumstance.

From Winning in Troubled Times: God's Solutions For Victory Over Life's Toughest Challenges by Dr.Creflo Dollar

BOBBEE BEE:YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH

BOBBEE BEE: FAITH IS THE ANSWER

"If your faith can't move mountains, it should at least climb them."

When life seems to bring nothing but a string of defeats and disappointment , we've got to have faith that something good is still in store for us. With this faith we can forge ahead and continue to put forth our best effort. Without it we give up and accept what comes our way. Our dreams turn to dust.
Are you troubled or confused? Faith is the answer. Are you hardened with grief or sorrow? Faith is the answer. Faith makes the difference between begging and praising, between crawling and leaping. No matter the problem-faith is the answer!

Indulgence may say, "Drink you way out." Science says, "Invent your way out." The world says, "Entertain your way out."Philosophy says, "Think your way out." But our Creator teaches us to "Pray your way out."

The world answers back to our faith. It trusts when we trust. It believes when we believe. It responds to our confidence. It says to the farmer, "Sow your seed."It

says to the pilot,"Spread your wings."It says to the prospector, "Keep drilling." It says to the sailor, "Hoist your sail." It says to the infant, "Keep walking."It says to the newlyweds, "Walk together."It says to the downtrodden,"Lift your head up."

It says to the suregon, "Please put your hand in mine." It says to the author, "Keep writing." It says to the Olympian, "Keep training." It says to the achiever, "Keep believing!"

WHATCHA TALKING ABOUT BOBBEE BEE?

by Eric D.Graham

"Thanks for the laughs, you were a trendsetter. There is none better than you Arnold Jackson...long live the spirit of Gary Coleman. We remember the best of you...."- With love and respect...Bobbee Bee "The Hater".

BOBBBEE BEE: I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL

by Eric D.Graham Sports Reporter
http://www.blackathlete.com/

NORTH CAROLINA (BASN) -- Charles Barkley said it best "I am not a role model." He was right. He is not a role model.


But your grandma is. Yeah, your grandma, the little old lady with the church hat and the big Bible under her arms. She is a role model.
Because somehow despite making a little more than minimum wage, she was able to provide for three children and send them all to college and see them graduate with a B.A., a Masters, and a PhD.

Now that's a role model.
But let's give Sir Charles a little credit, he told the truth, because he is not a role model. And neither is Tiger Woods for that matter. Not because of his recent sex scandal, nor because he can hit a golf ball 800 yards.

Oh no!! But your dad is. Yeah, your dad.

He is a role model, because he works a (9 to 5) plus a 2 to 6 without complaining and with very little sleep in order to provide a roof over your head, hot water for you to take a bath, lights for you to read, and he paid cold hard cash money ($299) for that PlayStation 2, you play with all night.

Now that's a role model. So, let's not give Tiger Woods the credit for that.

That would be like Black people, who work all year but during Christmas give all the credit to a white guy in a Santa Claus outfit for purchasing all of those expensive gifts for their children.

That's insane, Isn't it? And we wonder why children do not respect their parents. Yeah, Charles Barkley was exactly right. He is not a role model because he can dunk a basketball.

And neither is Barry Bonds. Not because he allegedly used steroids.

Nor because he hit 762 home runs.

But your mom is. Yeah, your mom. She is a role model.

Yeah, the woman who makes you clean up your room, tells you to get off of the cell phone, and yells at you to turn that Hip-Hop music down, is a role model.

She is a role model because she carried you safely in her womb for nine months, birthed you, provided milk from her breast for your nourishment, clothed you, cradled you, taught you.She also shuttled you back and forth from football games to basketball games, prayed for you, cheered for you and somehow made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches taste better than a T-Bone Steak when there was barely no food in the refrigerator.
Now, that's a role model. So before, you make another athlete your role model, take a serious look around and you might find some ordinary people, who deserve that title.

Because we all are worthy of a little praise, even you!!!

BOBBEE BEE:5 STAGES OF GRIEF

Grief is a somewhat complicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.

 
There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. It is different for each person. You cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur.

THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF AND DEATH:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

BOBBEE BEE: WE ARE SURVIVORS

'I got so much trouble on my mind. I refuse to lose. Here's your ticket'
-- Chuck D. of Public Enemy from "Welcome to the Terrordome."


by Eric D. Graham

NORTH CAROLINA (BASN) -- Despite all the death and destruction caused by a devasting earthquake in Port-au-Prince which killed 250,000, injured 200,000, and left two million Haitians homeless and hopeless -- something miraculous happened.

Earlier this week, rescuers pulled a three-week-old baby girl alive from the rubble of a house, who had survived seven days without any food or water.

That little miracle is truly a blessing and a living testimony of the resilence of Black people. For that reason, the gospel song by the Williams Brothers entitled "I Am Still Here" is the perfect song to play while reading this article.

Because despite the Middle Passage, slavery, Jim Crow segregation, the Black Codes, lynching, South African Apartheid, Neo-Nazis, the KKK, church bombings, cross burnings, forced sterilization, abortions, poor schools, ghettos, police brutality, drive-by shootings, gangs, Heroin, CIA-crack cocaine, the Tuskegee Experiment, the Prison Industrial Complex, AIDS, crooked politicians, lying preachers, fast food restaurants, and microchips.

We are still here.

Even after the Civil War, Emancipation, Reconstruction, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Desert Storm, the Iraqi War, and the War in Afghanistan.

We are still here.

Even after George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler, Bull Connor, J. Edgar Hoover, Jesse Helms, Frederik de Klerk, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Sean Hannity, Pat Robertson, and Rush Limbaugh.

We are still here.

Even though they sprained up with water hoses, had dogs bite us, police beat us, refused to serve us, called us "every thing but a child of God," and spit in our faces.

We are still here.
Even though they hated Marcus Garvey, Elijah Muhammad, Wallace Fard Muhammad, Louis Farrakhan, Khalid Muhammed, Huey Newton, Stokley Carmichael, H. Rap Brown, Nelson Mandela, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, President Barack Obama and Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

We are still here.
Even though they assassinated Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Prime Minister Patrice Lumumba, Medgar Evers, Fred Hampton Jr., Emmitt Till and Little Bobby Hutton.

We are still here.

Even though Muhammad Ali lost his heavyweight belt cause he refused to fight in Vietnam, Arthur Ashe passed away, Len Bias died from a cocaine overdose, Magic contracted AIDS, Michael Vick went to jail, Barry Bonds was accused of using steroids, and Tiger cheated on his wife.

We are still here.

Even though we imitated Richard Pryor, laughed with Robin Harris, cursed with Redd Foxx, and joked with Bernie Mack.

We are still here.

Even though we still miss Marvin Gaye, loved us some Luther Vandross, danced with James Brown, cried for Michael Jackson, and "made some good lovin" to Teddy Pendergrass.

We are still here.

Even though the Fugees broke up, Jam Master Jam got shot, Tupac Shakur got killed, and Biggie Smalls got murdered.

We are still here.

And despite 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and the recent devasting earthquake that hit Haiti, we are still here.
Cause we're 'BEBE'S KIDS', WE DON'T DIE! WE MULTIPLY!!
And most importantly, we're still here

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if you like what you are learning please leave a comment for Eric D. Graham at lbiass34@yahoo.com